#LetsGoOwls 🦉 @ Florida Atlantic University instagram.com/p/BqlSQVwhRlw/…
*droping clothes off at dry cleaner*
Me: "This one has a stain."
Grandma Phillys: "Do you know what it is?"
Me: "Yeah, it's coffee."
Grandma Phillys: "Well, it's supposed to go in your mouth."
Happy #Saturday y'all.
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This holiday season be thankful for the many milestones in your life including those who helped you get there. Most importantly, don't forget to give back! That's the best way to give… instagram.com/p/Bqfr13sBLWk/…
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RydonJS retweeted
Buying a domain name is buying the wonderful feeling that you’ll actually finish the side project you have planned for it.
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My handwriting has finally transitioned from hungry toddler to teen angst. #Progress
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Who knew ordering a Publix sub could be so nerve wrecking. Took me about 7 times to successfully say "Chipotle Gouda". #HumpDay
Tony: *cackles in laughter*
Lady: *points at us* "OH MY GOD. These were the assholes on my flight yesterday who wouldn't stop laughing! I had my noise cancelling headphones on but I could still hear them!"
Us: *obnoxious laughter ensues*
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#Walmart got the nosiest shoppers. I'm at the CoinStar machine cashing in my tub of pennies. I could just feel them beady little eyes, staring at me like I'm about to hit the jackpot, wondering if I can spare some change. Well guess what? It's in the machine now, TOO LATE DEBBIE.
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Didn’t realize toothpaste could expire until I decided to try whatever this baking soda is trying to be. #ThatsNotMintyFreshness
Stellar 🤩🤩🤩 #MilkyWay
SciFi+Cyberpunk+Art.
#TheElectricState by @simonstalenhag is out today! Buy it, and follow along with Skip's journey on Instagram to see the world through his eyes...
instagram.com/skipvision/
Who honestly set the AC to 78 degrees!? Touch the thermostat one more time. I dare you. I DOUBLE DARE YOU.
So I finally got myself back the gym.
Me:
"Sorry, I haven't been here in like 6 months..."
Front desk girl:
*glances at computer screen*
"144 days to be exact! Welcome back!"
I walk away laughing.
What I'm really thinking:
"Damn I'm such a #fatass."
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This combination of sciatica and sneezing is slowly destroying what's left of my soul. #Tuesdays