All I'm saying is if you expect me to read your user manual you should know the difference between "there", "their" and "they're".
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Day 26. The mosquito has well exceeded it's life expectancy and refuses to leave my room. It has landed on me several times but refuses to bite. I think that's what most upsets me - it's high-pitched indecisiveness. Tomorrow, I release the hounds.
Fairly certain I single-handedly consume @BurgerKing's entire supply of #Hershey's Sundae Pies. I might have a problem.
As I walked by marketing, I could hear someone vigorously clicking their mouse. Sounded like the most intense match of #Minesweeper ever.
Had a coupon for Outback Steakhouse so I decided to indulge. Everything was delicious, particularly the baked potato soup. As it turns out, the coupon was actually for Ruby Tuesday. #TreatYoself
Takes a fraction of a second to connect to Bluetooth. Takes 30 seconds to play music via @Spotify based on wifi connection. #FirstWorldProbs
Finally answered the age-old question: do cats like cornbread? To be fair, my cats will eat anything. #FatCats
You would think that after all these years, smart phones manufacturers would have mastered the use of gyroscopes/accelerometers but no, here I am accidentally taking photos in portrait orientation. #FirstWorldProbs
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Me: "Fast forward to the end. I wanna see if there's anything after the credits..." *dad turns off tv* #ThisIsLife
First the quota is cut to 3 movies then we accidentally get billed twice? @MoviePass is declining faster than @POTUS's approval rating.
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“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time.” - Leonard Bernstein
Can't believe football is back. 10 minutes until kickoff. You know what that means... time to watch the Dolphins lose. #LetsGoFins #OrLetsNot
What better way to celebrate a new life than my neck fat? Exactly. instagram.com/p/BnPVA4enaBY-…
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Used a @Keurig machine for the first time today. Pretty sure I've ascended. #HigherBeing